Why is it that only a select people are willing to take an honest look at themselves and realize they are not living up to their full potential? I know a ton of people. I don't think, no offense, I know very many people though who are living at their best. I am just not content and willing to settle for the routine life that so many people follow. I don't want a series of meaningless relationships. I don't want time wasted hungover. I don't want a relationship with god where we barley know eachother and I refuse to not acknowledge the fact that theres more to life than what i've been living the last six years.
I consider myself fortunate and cursed that I am going through this at the age of 23. I sat in a circle with a group of men at a Celebrate Recovery meeting and listened to guys who were on average 20 years my senior talk about their struggles. It was a wake-up call. The majority of the lot had been through rehab more than three times. They had relapsed, collapsed, lost everything and were still there. One thing i noticed was that the spark for life was dead in about 90% of them. That was very saddening.
One at a time I watched them share and as each passed my time grew nearer. I was scared to death. What am I going to tell these guys? It was a true struggle in every sense of the word.
My time came, and passed pretty quickly. I explained a few things about my struggles, they clapped, I felt connected and I listened more. I was going to share with you exactly what I shared with them, but I dont want to risk taking away from the experience. Plus, I know there are some who read this who do not truly care about my journey, just that i'm away from them for what has been six weeks now. If you want to know, ask me by phone, or ask me when I get home next Sunday.